As overjoyed as you may be about the birth of your baby, you or your spouse may also feel isolated, exhausted, incompetent, angry, and resentful about the way the event has changed your lives, and these emotions can chip away at marital happiness.

It’s also highly likely that even though the doctor gave you the green light to resume intercourse a few months ago, you may still feel far from sexy. That can leave Dad feeling rejected and Mom feeling like a failure. But the fact is, very few women have fully recovered their sex drive six months after giving birth. Besides the baby is sapping all a mother’s extra energy, her hormones are not quite back to normal levels.

No matter how you feel, it’s very important that you communicate with your spouse, so resentment and feelings of inadequacy don’t build up. Here’s how to stay close amid the chaos.

Make sure you set aside at least 15 minutes a day to speak to each other, uninterrupted, when the baby’s asleep. Try to discuss some things besides the baby-outside interests, current events, or family.

At least once a month, and preferably more often, hire a babysitter and go out with your spouse. You can do anything you both enjoy – a play, dinner with friends, or a movie. But the activity has to be for adults only!

To reduce feelings of resentment, both you and your spouse need to spend some time each day alone, free of all responsibilities, doing something nice for yourselves – taking a hot bath, reading, exercising.

If you’re feeling anxious, discuss your feelings with your spouse, who not only may welcome the opportunity but may reveal some of his or her own emotions at being a new parent. Your own parents and friends with kids may also be able to offer some advice or support.